


can't help but love you

by alecbaenes



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Kinda, Multi, side beronica
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:39:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9622643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecbaenes/pseuds/alecbaenes
Summary: Jughead Jones likes Archie Andrews.The problem with this was that, firstly Archie wasn’t into guys, he was into just about every girl in Riverdale. Secondly, Jughead was still trying to figure out if what he was feeling was just a fluke, and being around Archie just confused him. And thirdly, Jughead didn’t want to like him at all. His feelings were a burden, a painful ache at the back of his head.  It was easier to pretend to still hate Archie then tell him that he might have feelings for him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> idk how im already this far deep into the trash can but here we are.

Jughead was nestled into his favorite booth at Pop’s Chock-Lit Shoppe that night, fingers furiously typing away on his laptop as he worked on his novel. He only paused to drink some of his chocolate milkshake or glance at the booth containing the four friends he could’ve been with if he wasn’t… well, _him_.

Veronica and Kevin were on the side that faced him, joking around in the way that people who think they’re better than everyone else did. Jughead wasn’t really a fan of superficiality or the hierarchy of high school, but he had to admit that Veronica had _some_ reason to believe she was much more worthy of attention than anyone else- just not from him. He couldn’t see the faces of the people on the other side, but he could tell from the tight blonde ponytail and the fiery red hair that Betty and Archie were the ones who were with them. It was a good thing they weren’t the one’s able to see Jughead. He knew neither Kevin or Veronica really cared about him enough to tell him to join them, but he wasn’t sure the same could be said for Betty or Archie. And he _really_ didn’t want to talk to the latter right now.

Their friendship had gotten better after they made up at the football game a few weeks ago, but he knew they could never be the same; and it’s wasn’t just because of the distance. Jughead was keeping secrets too. Of course, they weren’t quite as severe as sleeping with a teacher- his were more of the sexual identity variety.

Most of the teenagers his age were obsessed with sex, hooking up whenever and with whoever they could. At first, Jughead had chalked up his indifference to it as being a late bloomer, that his hormones just hadn’t kicked in. But now his body was finally growing into his lanky limbs and he still didn’t care about hooking up at all. Over the summer, before the madness of Jason’s death, he read every forum and article, watched every video, and researched everything he could about how he was feeling. The conclusion was that he was asexual, and that discovery lifted a huge weight off his chest.

Jughead wasn’t usually a fan of idioms or cliches, but the one that said ‘all good things must come to an end’ came to mind. While he finally figured out what he was feeling, and that it was normal; new feelings arose. When he saw Archie again the night of the dance, something changed. Archie looked different now, he was like a sculpture from the Renaissance, but instead of creativity being reborn it was Jughead. He didn’t feel that way about Archie for the same reason the others did. At school he overheard girls saying that his best friend had gotten unbelievably sexy and that they would hook up with him if they got the chance. He didn’t want to be covered in sweat, the heat he seeked was the rays of sun Archie’s smile seemed to emit. He found himself wanting the redhead’s arms around him, and instead of sending him and icy glare or punching him in the arm to shut him up, Jughead would rather kiss the stupid smile off of his face.

The problem with this was that, firstly Archie wasn’t into guys, he was into just about every girl in Riverdale. Secondly, Jughead was still trying to figure out if what he was feeling was just a fluke, and being around Archie just confused him. And thirdly, Jughead didn’t want to like him at all. His feelings were a burden, a painful ache at the back of his head.  It was easier to pretend to still hate Archie then tell him that he might have feelings for him.

‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’ started to play over the diner speakers and Jughead cursed the universe for its cruel sense of humor. He munched on a fry, tearing his gaze away from the group and turning his attention back to his novel. It was alright for the most part, but whenever he heard Archie’s loud laugh Jughead ended up writing a sentence that made no sense whatsoever; and his fingers aggressively hit the backspace button on his keyboard. Once it started storming out he found it easier to block out the other customers, listening to how the raindrops and the click of his typing synced up.

He heard footsteps walking his way and looked up to see Archie, “Oh, hey Jughead!”

Jughead nodded in lieu of hello, quickly turning his attention back to his food so Archie would ignore him. The redhead ordered some more food from Pops and slid into his booth, sitting across from Jughead.

“Are you working on your novel again?” Archie questioned, reaching over the table to grab a fry.

Jughead swatted his hand away, “Yeah. You fulfilling your destiny of being the popular jock?”

“No, like I said I’m still the same old Archie. Just because I’m hanging out with Betty and Veronica, who happen to be cheerleaders- okay, I can see why you’d think that,” Archie admitted, “But my friends are still more important to me than social status.”

Jughead looked back at the table of Archie’s friends, thinking about the fact that he wasn’t one of the people sitting with them.

Archie seemed to pick up on this, “Hey, do you want to join us? We can pull up a chair.”

While he knew Archie wanted to be nice, Jughead didn’t think he could handle being around the others, especially because he felt like he was being invited as an afterthought.

“Uh, sorry, I should actually get going in a moment. Big essay due tomorrow.”

Both him and Archie knew that this was a lie, there was no essay due, and if there was Jughead would’ve already had it done. Usually Jughead was a decent liar, but this one was shit. He wanted Archie to know he didn’t want to be around him.

Archie looked deflated, and spoke after a moment, “Well, since you can’t hang out tonight you should come to the game next Friday. I’ll be playing.”

Jughead snorted, “Me? _At a football game_? I know we’re not as close as we used to be but it seems like you’ve forgotten everything about me.”

“I know it’s not your style but I’d like you to come,” Jughead didn’t look very convinced, “And I’ll buy you some food after the game.”

“Fine, I’ll come. But I’m going to make fun of it the whole time” Jughead warned, closing his laptop.

Archie smiled, “I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

Pop’s called Archie’s name and he shot Jughead a grin before waving goodbye and getting up to collect his food. Jughead stuffed his laptop in his bag and left some money on the table, looking over his shoulder at Archie one more time before he went out to brace the rain.

\--------

Even though he knew he’d be miserable at the football game, Jughead was pretty sure the pain and annoyance he was experiencing was borderline unconstitutional. He would’ve just bailed, but Archie kept checking in over the week to make sure he was going to come; and despite all the times Archie had let him down the past few months, Jughead couldn’t do the same. It wouldn’t be quite as bad if he was alone, but he was currently sat next to one of the most obnoxious people he’s ever met.

“The whole thing was very Bad Girls Club, I was pretty sure Cheryl was about to pull her hair” Kevin excitedly talked about an altercation Cheryl and Veronica got into the other day- something that Jughead gave zero shits about.

Betty had forced Jughead and Kevin to sit with each other, claiming that it’ll be easier for everyone to get together after the game; and that it would be good for all the friends to get closer. All it was doing was making him want to punch Kevin in the face.

“I thought you were friends with Veronica?” Jughead asked, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

Kevin nodded, “Oh yeah, but that doesn’t keep me from enjoying some drama. And after all the damage is done, I pick of the pieces and take care of my friends.”

“But why do you sound so happy when retelling it-why even tell anyone else about it all? Doesn’t that just negate any comfort you’ve given?”

“Well, I wouldn’t expect you to understand, seeing as you don’t really have any friends-”

Jughead scoffed, “Excuse me?”

“Sorry, sorry, that’s not what I meant,” Kevin’s eyes widened, “I just meant… that you and Archie aren’t doing too well. You keep pushing him away or bringing him down when he’s hurting.”

“Wow, thank you for clarifying, it’s not like that answer was even more dickish than the first” he rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to the game, “And besides Archie and I are doing better.”

Kevin didn’t respond, probably because of the anger radiating off Jughead’s body. Archie scored a touchdown and he cheered for him, but for the most part Jughead was just thinking about what Kevin had said. It was true that Jughead didn’t have many friends, but had he really been _that_ shitty to Archie? Sure, he hadn’t exactly been the best friend ever, but neither had Archie.

The sharp shrill pitch of the coach’s whistle blowing brought Jughead back to reality, and he watched as the players cleared off the field and the Vixens got ready for their halftime performance.

An upbeat pop song started to play, it was something unoriginal and undoubtedly sexually charged. The cheerleaders twisted their hips and blew a kiss into the bleachers, causing an uproar of cheers and whistles from the guys around them.

“Ugh, straight people, am I right?” Kevin shook his head.

Jughead’s eyes widened, “What?”

“If you were Archie I’m pretty sure you’d already have a hard on” Kevin explained.

“Please, Archie is not a normal heterosexual teenage boy,” Jughead rolled his eyes, “He’s at least ten times more horny and confused.”

Kevin laughed in agreement, and dropped the conversation, realizing Jughead was just going to avoid his accusation. Jughead was still on edge, not daring to look at Kevin and just focusing on the game in front of him. It was disinteresting, once he had gotten used to the patterns of the game his brain felt like it wasn’t in use anymore. That’s probably why people like Reggie loved the game so much. Shouts of rage and joy erupted once the Bulldogs won, which he didn’t really understand- they were just watching some sweat guys run around with a ball.

Friends and family headed towards the field to congratulate the players and take pictures. Jughead followed Kevin down the steps, stuffing his hands in his pockets. They approached Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Moose; who were all chatting and laughing about something.

“Congratulations, you guys looked _amazing_ out there” Kevin hugged Betty and Veronica, “You too” he smiled at the footballers, his eye raking over Moose’s body.

Moose blushed, “Uh… Thanks Kevin.”

“Jughead, you made it!” Archie smiled, helmet cradled in his arms.

He nodded, “Yeah it was… interesting I suppose.”

“You hated it, didn’t you?” Archie guessed.

“Felt like I was being torn limb from limb” Jughead confirmed.

Reggie approached the group, clapping his hand on Archie’s back, “So, your little goth cheerleader came to watch you?”

“Hey man, don’t be mean” Archie warned.

“You’re actually defending him?” Reggie scoffed, “I thought Frankenstein was too weird and monstrous to have friends.”

Jughead rolled his eyes, “Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.”

“God, you are _so_ weird” Reggie shook his head and retreated to the locker room.

“Don’t listen to him Jughead” Betty gave him a sympathetic smile.

Veronica cleared her throat, “Why don’t we go get changed and celebrate our win at Pop’s! I’m craving some onion rings.”

The group agreed, eager to fill up on burgers and milkshakes. Jughead and Kevin waited outside the locker rooms while the others stripped off their sweaty clothes and took a shower. Once they were finished, they clambered into Moose’s car, Kevin sat up front in the passenger seat, leaving the other four to cram in the backseat. Veronica was sitting on Betty’s lap, and Jughead was sandwiched between the car door and Archie.

“Okay, behave back there. I don’t want to get pulled over” Moose said as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Veronica made a dismissive noise, “It’s fine, we have the sheriff's son in the car with us.”

“Yeah, sorry, unfortunately that’s not the way it works” Kevin grumbled.

The ride was full of giggles and shouting along to songs on the radio, and for one of the many times that night, he felt very out of place. There was a camaraderie among them that Jughead wasn’t part of, and he wasn’t sure he ever would be.

Archie bumped their legs to get his attention, “You okay?” he whispered.

Jughead nodded, “Fine.”

The redhead frowned, “Hey Kevin, hand me the aux cord.”

“Are you going to put on your weird emotional acoustic stuff? I’d really rather not spend my Friday night crying over a heartbreak I haven’t experienced.”

“Well it’s kind of about heartbreak, but it’s more of a therapeutic shouty song than one that makes you bawl” Archie explained.

Kevin shrugged, “I guess I’ll allow it.”

Archie plugged the cord into his phone and looked for the song, grinning to himself. Soon, the beginning guitar riff of Mr. Brightside filled the car, and Jughead couldn’t help but smile too. The two of them had listened to the song on repeat for a month last year, sitting on Archie’s bedroom floor while playing video games and drinking cream soda. They turned to each other, and started to belt out the lyrics. Veronica sang along with them, and Moose tapped his fingers along with the rhythm on the steering wheel. Betty looked confused, but nodded her head along to the song.

They pulled into Pop’s Chock-Lit Shoppe and got out of the car, Kevin informing them that he and Moose would get their own table.

Jughead swung open the door and strolled in, “So, Archie, I believe you owe me some food.”

“Damn, I was hoping you’d forget about that” Archie replied as they searched for an open booth.

“If it’s about food- especially _free food_ , I’m not going to forget.”

The four of them slid into a booth with a window overlooking the railroad, bright lights flashes by every so often. Betty and Veronica sat on one side, leaving Archie and himself to sit on the other. Even though he was just pressed against him in the car, Jughead was freaking out a bit over being this close to Archie. Earlier room wasn’t really an option, but now Archie threw his arm over the back of the booth, scooting in closer to Jughead.

Archie let out a sigh of content as he opened up the menu, “So Jug, what do you want?”

“Well, obviously a burger and fries,” Jughead put a hand on his chin, acting like he was thinking very hard, “And let’s get some milkshakes and a big basket of onion rings- and some sundaes later?”

“Jesus Jughead, I’m not made out of money!” Archie exclaimed.

Jughead smirked, “Think of it as payback for the roadtrip.”

“Fine, fine, but I really can’t afford the onion rings or sundaes” Archie fished out the money he had out of his letterman jacket.

“I was going to order onion rings anyways, we can all share” Veronica offered.

The kindness caught Jughead off guard, they barely knew each other, and she had a reputation of being cold. He nodded and watched the three chat away as they waited to order. Part of him felt like he should just leave, he didn’t belong there with them. But then Archie would send him a smile and rope him into the conversation. The redhead started to absentmindedly tap the beat of the jazz song playing on Jughead’s shoulders, and he prayed Archie didn’t noticed him shiver.

Soon one of the waitresses dropped off their milkshakes, and after take a sip of their respective vanilla and chocolate drinks, Betty and Veronica gave the other their glass.

“I don’t know why you always order the vanilla and go on to drink half of mine” Veronica shook her head, but she was smiling fondly at the blonde.

Betty shrugged sheepishly, “But then I won’t have _any_ vanilla. I need to balance out all the chocolate I drink.”

Veronica rolled her eyes affectionately, watching Betty as she stirred the milkshake in front of her with the red straw. Jughead might not be the best at understanding emotions, especially when it came to girls, but he was pretty sure the two girls were a little more than friends. They were always stealing glances and touching each other, not to mention how flirty Veronica was. He looked over to Archie to see if he noticed their behavior too, but he was looking out the window, lost in thought. Archie probably wouldn’t have picked up on it either way though, he could be pretty oblivious.

Once the food arrived, Jughead ignored the conversation the others were having, digging into his burger, which was so full everything was falling out as he ate it.

“At least come up for air!” Betty joked, munching on an onion ring.

Veronica laughed, “I’d bet he’d be a good kisser.”

Jughead raised a brow, and Archie chuckled, “Jughead? He’s never even kissed a girl before. I can’t picture him ever kissing anybody.”

“Just for that I’m forcing you to buy me the biggest and most expensive sundae on the menu” he glared. It wasn’t like he would ever _want_ to kiss a girl, but the teasing still stung.

Archie put his hands up in surrender, “Sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean it like that.”

He rolled his eyes, and focused on eating his food, Archie’s words playing over and over in his head like a record. There was ketchup all over the redhead’s mouth, and he had the sudden urge to kiss it off. He told himself it was to spite Archie, to show him that he could kiss someone.

God, Jughead was so fucked.

\--------

A shitty action movie played on Archie’s laptop, loud explosions and gunshots filling the room. Jughead sat next to him on his bed, bored out of his mind. He figured out the plot twists twenty minutes into the movie, the dialogue was awkward, and the plot was unoriginal. Also, he wasn’t dudebro enough to be impressed by the explosions. Jughead didn’t really mind that Archie chose that movie though, as it gave him excuse to watch him instead. Archie’s eyes were full of wonder, his face illuminated from the screen. Over the past few weeks, the urge to kiss him and grown stronger and stronger, despite all the excuses he made up.

“Woah, did you see that explosion?!” Archie turned to him excitedly.

Jughead blinked, snapping out of his daydreaming, “Huh? Oh, yeah… it was awesome.”

“You hate the movie don’t you?” Archie asked.

“Well, it’s no _Pulp Fiction_ ,” Jughead joked, “But it’s… yeah it’s pretty shit.”

“Do you want to watch something else?”

He shook his head, “No, sometimes it’s nice to have my mind numbed. You know, I get headaches from thinking too hard?”

“I’m not sure if you’re bragging or if I’m supposed to pity you” Archie admitted.

“Both work” Jughead shrugged.

Archie chuckled and continued to watch the movie. Jughead made an effort to look at the screen a little more than he had previously, but he still found himself studying Archie’s face. He memorized the ways his eye crinkled when he laughed at the cheap jokes, how his eyes furrowed and his lips curled when the bad guy was winning, and the way his pink lips slightly parted when the protagonist found out his sister was evil. His lips, Jughead couldn’t tear his eyes away from Archie’s goddamn lips.

The mattress vibrated underneath them, and Archie picked up his phone, a stupid grin forming as he read a text. Jughead could tell he was talking to Betty or Veronica, his lips only looked like that when he was talking to someone he liked. He couldn’t help but feel a little upset, Archie was spending what was supposed to be _their_ time chatting with someone else. It wasn’t until the next time he was alone that Jughead realized what he felt was jealousy.

“Which one of your girlfriends are you talking to?” he asked, his tone venomous.

The redhead looked up at him, “Sorry, I was just making plans with Veronica for tomorrow.”

“I didn’t realize you were so disinterested that you were already thinking of hanging out with someone else.”

“That’s not what I was trying to do-”

“Seems like your excuse lately. Have you trademarked it yet?” Jughead quipped.

Archie sighed, “Jug, stop. I don’t want to fight. I miss us being friends, hanging out without excuses or because I owe you. When you agreed to come over for a movie night I was so happy. This used to be our thing.”

“You still have the movie taste of a twelve year old” he remarked.

A groan escaped from Archie’s lips, although they both knew that his wisecrack didn’t hold the same anger as the others did. Archie turned off his phone and reached over Jughead to set it on his nightstand.

“No more texting or talking about Betty or Veronica,” he vowed, “You and I are gonna finish this crap movie, and you’re going to stop withholding your criticism and sarcastic remarks.”

Jughead smiled, “Can we watch _XXX_ next? You know I love to hate that movie-”

“And I love the explosions and stunts. It’ll be like old times” Archie beamed.

Part of Jughead wanted to say he didn’t want it like old times. He wanted it to be different, he wanted to be able to cuddle into Archie and press a kiss into his cheek to show how much he appreciated him, that they weren’t going to fight. Instead he just nodded and grabbed a handful of popcorn.

\--------

The next morning Jughead awoke to the sound of birds chirping and a lawn being mowed. He groaned, struggling to open his eyes, and mumbled something about wanting more sleep. Archie’s arm was thrown over him under the blue blankets, and he could feel his chest pressed up against his back. Jughead couldn’t help but blush, his heartbeat quickening. He rolled over to face his best friend, who looked extremely peaceful and content. A soft breath tickled his face and moved his face, making Jughead notice he wasn’t wearing his beanie. Usually he would’ve freaked out, but he felt safe here.

After a few minutes Archie stirred, “Good morning.”

“Morning.”

“No wonder you always wear a beanie. You hair looks like shit” Archie smirked.

Jughead rolled his eyes and grabbed one of the pillows, throwing it over Archie’s face, “Shut up.”

\--------

A week had passed since their movie night, and Jughead was sat at his usual lunch table, typing away at his laptop. He didn’t really mind sitting by himself, or the fact that there weren’t any tables around him- it was quiet, allowing him to work on his novel in peace. Jughead took a bite of his sandwich before continuing to write.

Not even a minute later Archie came into view, walking towards him with a blue lunch tray in hand. Of course it would be Archie Andrews who ruined his peace.

“Hey Jug” he greeted, plopping himself down across from him.

Jughead raised an inquisitive brow, “Why are you sitting with me?”

“Wow, you’re straight to the point,” Archie twisted the cap off of his water, “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“No. It’s just… you never really sit with me.”

“Betty and Veronica kinda banned me from sitting with them right now” Archie admitted.

He rolled his eyes, “Ugh, how rude. Why can’t they just get over the fact that you’re trying to fuck both of them?”

“I’m not trying to hook up with both of them Jughead” Archie sighed.

“Is that not what it’s about?” he questioned, “Your weird love triangle?”

Archie took a bite of his apple instead of answering, telling Jughead he was right. The redhead wiped the apple juice off of his chin, and Jughead could tell he wanted to talk about it.

Jughead sighed deeply, “Go ahead.”

Apparently Betty had seen Veronica and Archie hanging out together and got jealous, telling both of them to never speak to her again. Jughead thought the reaction was a bit overdramatic, but apparently the three had vowed to pause the triangle to save each other from feeling hurt. Yeah, like that would’ve worked.

Per usual, Veronica did everything in her power to get Betty to forgive her, and they made up in a few days. Archie wasn’t having the same luck however, despite Veronica being the one who made the plans to hang out. Of course, Archie didn’t suspect the quick reconciliation had to do with Betty liking Veronica, which still confused Jughead. Did that mean Betty didn’t like Archie at all? She was the type to give people second chances. He didn’t think they would never be friends again, it was just odd that she still hadn’t talked to him.

“Maybe you need to take a break from thinking about them,” he advised, “Clear your head and figure it out later. You’re just going to snap from stress if you worry about it too much.”

Archie considered this, “Huh. That’s actually pretty good advice. Thanks Jug.”

“I mostly said it to shut you up.”

Archie threw a hand on his chest, a pained expression on his face, eliciting a chuckle from Jughead. He started to continue eating his lunch, so Jughead worked on his novel. Instead of an awkward tension, the lack of talking was comforting; the only noise coming from the table was the clicking of Jughead’s keyboard and Archie’s humming.

“Jug?”

“Hm?”

“Why do you hate it when I talk about girls?”

Sirens went off in Jughead’s mind, his body tensing. He couldn’t do this right now, he just wanted to run away but his legs were glued to the ground beneath him. What could he say? He didn’t really want to lie, but he didn’t want to tell the truth either.

Archie rested his elbows on the table, “Is it because you don’t have a girlfriend? I can help you find one.”

He wanted to make a joke about how Archie wasn’t doing too well in that department but couldn’t think, “What? No. I guess I just don’t… Understand it?”

“Because you’ve never had sex?”

Jughead resisted the urge to roll his eyes, “No, it’s more like I don’t _want_ to have sex.”

Archie looked confused as hell, and Jughead felt his stomach drop. He hated that Archie threw his restraint out the window, but it was now or never.

“It’s called asexuality,” he explained, “It’s when a person doesn’t have the desire to have sex. I’m, uh… asexual.”

The silence that enveloped them while Archie registered what Jughead had just told them was not comforting this time. Did he hate him now? Did Jughead just ruin everything they had? He wanted nothing more than to disappear.

“Oh. Okay.” Archie nodded to himself, “Cool. I’m glad you told me.”

Jughead took a shaky breath, “Do you… Do you still want to be my friend?”

“Are you serious? Jughead, I don’t think I could stop even if I wanted to.”

A small smile spread across his face, and Jughead felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest. Sure it wasn’t the whole truth, Archie didn’t know that Jughead was pretty sure he liked boys, and that he liked him in particular. But it was something, and Archie didn’t freak out. He didn’t need to hide part of who he was around his best friend.

\--------

Tonight Jughead got to pick the movie, so he was much more invested in the plot than last movie night. Archie on the other hand, looked extremely confused and had zoned out thirty minutes in. The popcorn bowl had been demolished solely by Jughead, save for the couple of handfuls Archie had eaten at the start of the movie.  

About an hour in Jughead noticed Archie fell asleep on his shoulder, causing his breath to hitch. After getting over the shock he smiled to himself and kept as still as he possibly could, letting himself drown in Archie’s warmth.

The end of the movie was a bit disappointing, but overall Jughead enjoyed it. He looked down to see that Archie was still asleep and nudged him awake.

“Movie’s over,” Jughead announced, “You wanna watch another?”

Archie shook his head and yawned, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure” Jughead shrugged, resituating himself on the bed.

“Well, after you came out to me I started to research some stuff on asexuality,” Archie explained, “And I read that if your ace you can still be in a relationship with someone. You didn’t say anything about if you liked girls or not so I was wondering if you were aromantic?”

Jughead couldn’t help but open his mouth in surprise. Archie cared enough about him that he researched asexuality when he didn’t need to at all. He felt his heart swelling, but he also could sense the fear rising in his chest. Last time he had been able to avoid the whole ‘gay’ part of his sexual identity, but he didn’t think he could now.

“Aromantic means-”

“I know what it means Archie,” Jughead interrupted, “Just… Why are you asking me this? Why do you care?”

Archie looked away nervously, “I was just, uh, wondering. You never really seemed to be interested in girls.”

His heart was beating against his ribs, and his mind was screaming at him to change the topic, to avoid the question, to do _anything_ but tell Archie he was gay.

“I don’t think I’m aro… And I’ve never kissed a girl but I don’t think I’d want to” he finally answered.

Silence hung over them, suffocating Jughead. Archie finally spoke, “What about a guy?”

Jughead swallowed thickly and stayed quiet, focusing on his trembling hands in his lap.

“Do you want to try kissing _me_?” Archie asked.

His greenish-blue eyes snapped up to meet ones the color of honey. Jughead opened his mouth to respond ‘yes’, but no sound came out.

“Can I kiss you?”

Jughead managed a small nod, and suddenly Archie’s hands were cupping his face, and he was staring at his lips. Even though they had been sitting together the whole night, it was only then that Jughead noticed Archie smelled like vanilla and amber. Hot breath fanned across his face, and their noses bumped before Archie closed the gap between them, putting his lips on Jughead’s. Neither of them really knew what to do, particularly Jughead, resulting in a short, awkward kiss that tasted of popcorn and was more teeth than anything.

Still, he was blushing profusely when they pulled apart. Jughead caught his breath, and smirked, “Wow, no wonder you’re always fighting with Betty and Veronica. You’re a shit kisser.”

“Shut up” Archie shoved him playfully.

They didn’t talk for a minute, and Jughead started freaking out. Was that the only chance he would have to kiss him? Did Archie think he was bad too? His fingers started to fidget nervously.

Archie put his hands on top of Jughead’s, “Can we try again?”

Jughead’s eyebrows raised in shock, “Yeah.”

“Just… Relax, okay? It’s just me” Archie reassured. He hadn’t even noticed how tense he was.

The redhead cradled both sides of his face again, and this time Jughead knew to tilt his head so their noses wouldn’t crash into each other. Their lips brushed against each other, and they stayed like this for a moment, making Jughead crave the kiss even more. Finally, Archie pressed their lips together, and Jughead found himself gripping his strong biceps. It took a moment, but the two found a rhythm that worked for them, and Jughead felt _alive_. Archie was pressed so close to him that he could feel both of their hearts hammering against their chests.

Jughead pulled away, out of breath, but quickly reconnected their lips- now that he had gotten a taste he was addicted. This was better than all the burgers and fries Pop’s had to offer. One of Archie’s hands reached at the back of his head, his fingers gently tugging and twisting at the black hair under the gray beanie; pulling Jughead even closer and causing him to hum into Archie’s mouth. The feeling he was experiencing could only be described as euphoria, and the kisses started to become more open as ease washed over him.

He felt Archie’s tongue on his and accidently dug his nails into his arms in surprise, but Jughead went along with it, too happy question what was happening. All too soon it was over, Archie biting Jughead’s bottom lip as he ended the kiss.

Archie was a spectacle, lips pink and swollen from kissing, and his hair was messed up- Jughead didn’t even remember running his hands through it. He imagined he looked the same. Jughead drank in the sight, blinking dreamily at him while he forced air back into his lungs.

“Holy shit” Archie sighed.

“Wow” Jughead agreed.

\--------

After that night the two started sneaking around, stealing kisses whenever they could. Movie nights were more and more frequent, Fred had commented about how happy he was they were getting along again; and often asked what movie they were going to watch. Archie would give him the name of a random movie, before they grabbed some snacks and went up to his bedroom to make out. Sometimes Jughead fell asleep there, cuddled into Archie’s side, tracing the freckles on his face. In the morning Fred would ask how they liked the movie, and they would respond with half assed lies and give each other a knowing look over their mugs of coffee when his dad wasn’t looking.

They tried his treehouse a couple of times, but it was pretty small, and Jughead kept getting nervous about his dad seeing them; so they stopped meeting there.

When they hung out with Betty and Veronica at Pop’s, Archie would hold Jughead’s hand under the table, and he was pretty sure the two girls across from them were doing the same. It was harder for them to do anything at school, with everyone around watching. He had been dragged along into hanging out with the rest of Archie’s gang, much to his displeasure. But the grin Archie sent him whenever Jughead was getting along with someone else made up for it.

Part of him wanted to ask Archie if he was gay, or bi, or pan, or _whatever_ ; but he didn’t want to pressure Archie or ruin what they had right now.

Of course, Jughead _did_ end up ruining it all, but not without Archie’s help.

\--------

The marching band played joyously as one of the Bulldogs scored a touchdown; while the cheerleaders jumped up and down, shaking their pom-poms. Jughead watched with disinterest, occasionally watching Archie or Betty. At least this time he was alone, Kevin sitting with someone else. For most of the game he was playing games on his phone, planning what he wanted to order when he went to Pop’s with Archie, Betty, and Veronica.

Riverdale’s side of the bleachers started to shout angrily around the fourth quarter, yelling profanities at the other team. Jughead looked up to notice they were down by 10 points, and his eyes searched for Archie. It was hard to make out his face with the helmet on, but Jughead could tell Archie was disappointed. He found himself feeling sympathetic for his best friend, despite it just being a stupid game. Jughead decided that if Archie stole a few of his fries later he’d let him.

In the end Riverdale lost, resulting in the stands clearing out quickly as his fellow students groaned. He stood and stretched before heading down to the field to talk to Archie, who was currently talking to Veronica.

Suddenly, he was blocked by Josie McCoy, one of the last people he’d expect to talk to him.

“Jughead Jones,” Josie greeted, “We need to talk.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Uh, what about?”

“Josie and the Pussycats are building a brand for themselves-”

“Do you always talk about yourself in the first person?” Jughead interrupted.

She sent him a sharp glare before continuing, “We wear the cat ears so we’re easily recognized. It’s a symbol of being fierce and feminine, it’s unique- except for the fact that you have your own special headwear. That crown beanie-”

Jughead tuned her out, noticing Veronica holding Archie’s hand over Josie’s shoulder.

Veronica fisted Archie’s blue jersey, tugging him in for a kiss. The redhead stood in shock before running his hands through her hair and kissing her back.

He felt sick. He felt angry. God, why didn’t he just listen to his instincts? Archie had been shit to all the girls he liked, so why would Jughead be any different? Betty and Veronica were miles better than him, and deserved more- he was nothing, and being with Archie didn’t change that. His bottom lip quivered, and Jughead bit down on it, drawing blood.

“So, with that being said, I’d appreciate it if you stopped wearing that beanie” Josie finished.

“Sorry, I’m not a very big fan of doing what other people tell me to do, especially not entitled egomaniacs” Jughead snapped, shoving past her and storming off.

Jughead didn’t want to go home or to Pop’s, as both places could yield horrible outcomes. Instead he sat at his usual table, trying to keep himself from crying. That was the worst part of it, that the kiss affected him so much. Archie didn’t even seem to hesitate, he didn’t even think about his best friend or the stolen kisses they shared.

Maybe part of it was his own fault, he let himself be consumed by Archie and his stupid lips. He needed to accept that good things didn’t happen to him, and any moment of happiness could be destroyed in an instant. Happy endings were for popular football jocks with ethereal smiles or sweet and caring girls-next-door. Even people like Veronica, who used to be cold-hearted, got what she wanted. It wasn’t like Jughead was a saint, and he didn’t necessarily think he was worthy of anything- it would just be nice if he could’ve had something for once. He had just gotten Archie back and he was gone again.

Jughead’s phone vibrated in his pocket, and he took it out to see a text from the last person he wanted to see right now.

 **archie andrews:** _come to the locker room. i require kisses to be cheered up after that game_

Jughead gripped his phone, his overwhelming sadness turning into rage. Archie was lying to him, acting like he had never kissed Veronica at all. Part of him wanted to just ignore the text and walk home, but another told him to go give Archie a piece of his mind.

Ultimately he decided on the latter, and swung open the door to the boy’s locker room a few minutes later.

Once Archie saw him he smiled before putting his shirt on, “Hey, I was worried something happened- you didn’t reply.”

Archie leaned in to kiss him but Jughead shoved him, although it didn’t do much considering he was scrawny and Archie was strong and muscular. The sentiment wasn’t lost however, especially when Jughead spat, “Fuck you.”

“What?” Archie asked, perplexed, “Jug, why are you acting like this?”

“Don’t play dumb Arch. I saw you with Veronica” he glared.

Archie’s mouth hung open and he started to speak, but Jughead cut him off, “I’m not just some toy you get to play with Archie. Yo-you can’t just _lie to my face_ and expect me to be okay with it!”

“That’s not what-”

“I’m your friend Archie. I thought… I thought maybe we were becoming _more_ than that. But I totally forgot about the fact that you can’t choose between two great girls. There was no way you were going to choose me” Jughead croaked.

Archie’s eyes were watering, and he took a step closer to him. Jughead stumbled backward.

“Jug, I’m sorry. This wasn’t supposed to happen, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings” Archie shook his head.

“No, you’re not,” Jughead snarled, “If you really didn’t want to hurt me, you would’ve stopped this once you figured out you just ‘liked the rush’.”

“Jug…” Archie whispered.

He walked towards the door and pulled on the handle before looking back at Archie, “Don’t talk to me ever again.” With that Jughead left, letting the door slam behind him.

\--------

Despite Jughead’s warning, Archie texted and called Jughead for a week straight, forcing him to turn off his phone. He had to expertly dodge Archie on campus, and Jughead had to  deprive himself of Pop’s delicious burgers in case the redhead showed up.

Jughead was alone once again, and now he was burgerless and feeling ten times more shitty about his life.

And yet, he couldn’t find it in himself to hate Archie, not completely. Hating him would’ve made everything much easier.

\--------

Jughead despised Mondays, but they were particularly unbearable after Cheryl Blossom held a party. He couldn’t handle hearing all the boring, worthless gossip as he walked down the hallways or tried to do his classwork. Jughead readjusted the messenger bag on his shoulder before opening the doors to the school and heading towards his locker.

He was about to put on his headphones, but he heard something that caught his attention, “Did you hear Betty and Veronica hooked up at Cheryl’s party?”

Normally he would’ve kept walking, but it was odd that Veronica had kissed Archie just a few weeks ago and now she was with Betty. Maybe it was him being selfish, but Jughead dropped down to tie his shoes in order to listen to the girls conversation.

“Do you think they were drunk?” The blonde one asked.

The brunette shook her head, “Please, you know how straight edge Betty is.”

“Well, do you think it was just experimentation?” the other wandered, “Like, was it just a lesbian phase or…”

Jughead groaned at the homophobic remark and stood up.

“I don’t think so. I saw them holding hands earlier.”

The blonde leaned against her locker, “Huh. I never guessed that’s the way their whole love triangle with Archie would’ve panned out.”

“I’m fine with it, now I get a chance with Andrews.”

He put his headphones on, disgusted with the way those two girls were talking. Despite the fact that he had been angry at Veronica, and that he didn’t really care much about either of their love lives, Jughead was happy for them. And even though he _really_ didn’t want to, Jughead knew who he had to talk to right now.

Soft sounds of a piano being played filled Jughead’s ears as he quietly opened the door to the music room and slipped in. Archie was pressing the keys, singing something that Jughead presumed he wrote recently, as the lyrics sounded quite depressing. His face didn’t look that much better than the lyrics sounded, bags were formed under his sad and tired honey brown eyes.

“They say heartache makes for better art,” Jughead commented, and Archie jumped, “Guess it’s true. You don’t sound like total shit for once.”

Archie blinked back at him, confused, “Jug, why are you here?”

“I’m inexplicably drawn to people wallowing in self pity and sadness” Jughead quipped as he strolled towards Archie. He sat himself on the grand piano, setting his bag down beside him.

“Are you just going to sit there and insult me?”

Jughead sighed, “No. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Which ‘it’? I have about a thousand things going wrong in my life right now” Archie admitted.

“Betty and Veronica” he clarified.

Archie shook his head, “Not yet.”

Jughead nodded understandingly, and watched as Archie began playing again. He was much better at playing guitar, but he was decent at playing piano. Archie cursed under his breath as he played the wrong note, causing a dissonant chord to fill the room. Jughead started to swing his legs along to the beat, and found himself comforted by Archie’s voice. Usually he would’ve ignored Archie’s request and just pester him into talking, but his best friend- or, ex best friend he supposed, looked so broken. He was fragile and Jughead didn’t know how to take care of him. It was usually _him_ who was like this, and the way that he took care of Archie was slinging ruthless and witty insults at those who hurt him. He didn’t think that would work in this situation though.

The school bell rang shrilly, telling the students it was time for class. They had biology next, and Jughead could care less about that class. He already had an A plus- he really should be in a higher class. But Archie had convinced Jughead to take biology with him when they were signing up for classes last year. It was like everything came down to Archie, and Jughead hated that.

“Do you want to stay?” Jughead asked softly.

Archie looked up, “Yeah, if that’s okay.”

He played for ten more minutes, playing two more songs. His fingers hovered over the keys as he took a deep breath, “I’m happy for them but…I dunno, I just feel like I lost my best friend over something stupid.”

“Please,” Jughead rolled his eyes, “Betty’s still gonna be friends with you. So will Veronica.”

“I was talking about you.”

“Oh” he replied lamely.

Archie stood, “Jug, I wasn’t with you as a joke or because I ‘liked the rush’.”

“Then why were you with me? Why did you let Veronica kiss you if it wasn’t nothing?” Jughead challenged.

“Because I like kissing you,” Archie stood between Jughead’s legs, “I like being around you Jug.”

“Why did you kiss Veronica?” Jughead repeated, although the harshness in his voice disappeared as Archie used his thumb to trace Jughead’s lips.

Archie sighed, “I don’t know. I guess I was confused about who I was, who I liked. What I liked. I shouldn’t have kissed her back. I’m sorry Jughead.”

“Did you figure it out? Who you are I mean” Jughead inquired.

“I think I’m bisexual,” Archie confessed, “And I’m also pretty hopeless without you by my side.”

Jughead repressed the strong affection growing in his chest, “We aren’t good for each other Archie. All we do is fuck things up between us and cause unnecessary pain.”

“Who put that idea in your head?” Archie asked, his hand cupping Jughead’s jaw. He could tell the redhead was waiting for Jughead to give permission to kiss him.

“Kevin told me-”

“Since when did you give a shit what Kevin Keller thought?” Archie reminded him, “Listen, we may not be prefect. But when I’m with you… I feel alive. Over the summer, when we weren’t friends… I was miserable Jug.”

Jughead contemplated what Archie was saying. He had felt the same way about their friendship ending, it created a void within him. But wasn’t it selfish for him to indulge in whatever he felt for Archie? Time after time everything ended badly. This wasn’t him just trying to save his own ass, he wanted to spare Archie the pain.

He opened his mouth to speak but Archie interrupted him, “We’re allowed to be selfish sometimes. Strong and healthy relationships don’t mean being perfect- those relationships aren’t _real_. You’re always talking about how you hate fake people, people who run away from their problems. Why don’t we face our problems together?”

Jughead hooked his hands around the back of Archie’s neck, pulling him close and connecting their lips, kissing him softly. He felt Archie smile against his lips, letting one of his hands fall on Jughead’s thigh and the other cup his face. Jughead savored the way Archie’s tongue ran over his own, the way he was overeager, kissing him like it would be their last. Archie kissed him chastely twice before pulling away to catch his breath. Jughead rested his forehead on Archie’s, doing the same.

“I hate when you prove me wrong” Jughead quipped breathlessly.

Archie grinned, “Really? If it always ends like this I’m going to have learn how to be right more often.”

“You’re such a loser” Jughead laughed as he rolled his eyes affectionately.

“Yeah, I’m _definitely_ not as cool as someone named _Jughead Jones the Third_ ” Archie smirked.

Jughead punched his arm softly, “Shut up.”

“Make me” Archie winked.

“God, what are you, are a stereotypical fuckboy?” he rolled his eyes, “Next you’re going to text me ‘you up?’ at one in the morning.”

Archie stifled a laugh, “Is it a crime for me to want to kiss my boyfriend?”

Jughead’s eyes widened, “Is that what we are now?”

“If you want us to be” Archie intertwined their hands.

He nodded, heart hammering against his chest, “Yeah. I-I’d like that.”

Archie smiled, and kissed his forehead, “Me too.”


End file.
